(1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you. (2) In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. (3) No one expects you to run…anywhere. (4) People call at 8 PM and ask: ‘Did I wake you?’ (5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. (6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way. (7) Things you buy now won’t wear out. (8) You can eat supper at 5 PM. (9) You can live without sex but not your glasses. (10) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. (11) You can’t remember who sent you this list. (12) And you notice that these are all in Big Print for your convenience. (Share this with everyone you can remember right now! And remember: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!)”
(Author Unknown)…but whoever you are, thanks for the laughs, even though they all apply to me!