[Classic] Dave Barry (I was going to post this in the morning, but it’s TOO good to wait…)

“Aspirin bottles defend themselves against consumer access via a multilevel security system:

(1) There is a plastic wrapper to keep you from getting at the cap.

(2) The cap, which is patented by the Rubik’s Cube Company, cannot be removed unless you line an invisible arrow up with an invisible dot while rotating the cap counterclockwise and simultaneously pushing down and pulling up.

(3) In the unlikely event that you get the cap off, the top of the bottle is blocked by a taut piece of extremely feisty foil [comedic emphasis added] made from the same impenetrable material used to protect the Space Shuttle during atmospheric reentry.

(4) Underneath the foil is a virtually unremovable wad of cotton the size of a small sheep.”

(I’m glad I didn’t wait ’til tomorrow morning…now I can go to bed chuckling…)


About shacoyo

Quasi-retired, freelance copyeditor. Web site: www.redline-editing.com
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