[Classic] Dave Barry

I know, folks, “[Classic] Dave Barry” is perhaps becoming a pain in your _ _ _ (and I’ll add an extra _, just in case you opt for the more gentle of the two), but [to me] he’s one of the best, most prolific, and cynically funny writers alive today…so…here we go with another one of his classics (thank goodness, I selected HIM as my desk calendar this year):

“In 1513, change came to Miami with the arrival of the Spanish explorer that we now know as Juan Ponce de Leon (literally, “John Punched the Lion”)…[de Leon] was searching for the mythical Fountain of Youth, of which it was said that if you took one drink you would have eternal youth, or at least acne. He did not find the Fountain of Youth (which we now know is located in Davenport, Iowa), but eventually he did stumble upon Parrot Jungle, where he was pecked to death by hostile unicycle-riding cockatoos.”

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About shacoyo

Quasi-retired, freelance copyeditor. Web site: www.redline-editing.com
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