[Classic] Dave Barry

“I am in favor of the elderly. You hear a lot of talk these days about how the government cannot afford to keep giving more and more billions of dollars in Medicare and Social Security benefits to the elderly, especially to the wealthy, golf-playing, boat-owning, Lincoln-driving, mansion-dwelling, servant-lashing elderly. Well, here’s what I say: I personally am well on my way to ‘elderlyhood,’ and if I’m going to suffer from joint pain, gum disease, vision loss, irregularity, bladder malfunction, prostate disorders, hemorrhoidal swelling, and an inexplicable fondness for Murder, She Wrote, then by gosh I WANT MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT.” (Amen, Dave…amen.)


About shacoyo

Quasi-retired, freelance copyeditor. Web site: www.redline-editing.com
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