Quotefalls

“When one word leads to another, it generally ends up in a quarrel, a speech, or a dictionary.”

Classic Dave Barry…(can’t resist sharing this one)…

“If you have any questions whatsoever about the legality of a particular tax maneuver, you should call the special Toll-Free IRS Taxpayer Assistance Hotline Telephone Number in your area and listen to the busy signal until you feel you have a better understanding of the situation.”

(Unfortunately, this definitely applies to the DMV and Social Security Administration offices as well, Dave.)

Quotefalls

“Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together.”

[Classic] Dave Barry (#1,293,819)

Since I am a huge rhubarb fan, MUST share this one:

“Rhubarb, a hardy vegetable, was a favorite of my mother’s. Every year, she would produce an elaborate rhubarb pie, which was second only to Brussels sprouts in the category of things we kids would rather die than eat.* Rhubarb is ideal for canning. You just put it in the cans, stick the cans in your pantry, then move.”

(*Amen!)

[Classic] Dave Barry (be prepared to see a lot of ‘em cuz “he’s” the calendar I picked for my desk this year)

“At St. Stephens Episcopal Church in Armonk, New York, at Easter, each person was issued a potted hyacinth, and we’d sing a song that had a lot of ‘alleluias’ in it, and every time we’d get to one, we’d all hoist our pots over our heads. This is the truth. Remember it next time somebody tells you Episcopalians never really get loose.”

Blessings to you all on this beautiful Easter day…

[Classic] Dave Barry (there are 3 of ‘em cuz I couldn’t decide which was the funniest…what do you think?)…

(1) “Going bald is a perfectly natural part of the aging process, like having all your teeth rot and fall out. There is no reason to be self-conscious about it and assume that your coworkers are always staring at the top of your head and snickering behind your back. Sometimes they actually laugh out loud.”

(2) “Don’t listen to those Negative Nellies who tell you there aren’t any good jobs anymore just because the steel, automobile, shoe, clothing, railroad, and agricultural industries have all collapsed!”

(3) “A ‘sommelier’ is a wine steward, the dignified person who comes up to you at expensive restaurants, hands you the wine list and says, ‘Excellent choice, sir,’ when you point to French writing that, translated, says, ‘Sales tax included.’”

Thought for the day: “READING IS SEXY”

Daughter Michelle gave me this [bumper] sticker several weeks ago. Since I didn’t want to actually adhere it to the bumper of my car, she suggested it might make a good bookmark…which is how I use it…and it makes me smile every time I read it.

Just wanted to share the words and the thought because if you are as avid a reader as I am, reading IS [very, very] sexy indeed!

Thanks again, Michelle. xo